Visiting Joe's Grave
by That-Hamster-Wheel
Summary: When Jamie visits Joe's grave he needs all the support he can get. Jamko cuteness inside so read to find out. If you can't handle extreme hurt and pain please do not read this.


Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Bloods or any of the characters.

A/N: So I am going to say Eddie and Jamie are already a couple and dating in this story. Also it is a special anniversary for Jamie and Joe. So Jamie is really taking it hard. If you can't stand intense hurt and pain then I urge you not to read this. Please read, enjoy, and review.

Today was an important day for Joe and me. It was the anniversary of our first road trip together. It was really hard for me today. It had been the only road trip we had been able to take before his sudden death. Every year on this day it is so painful to get up and do my day. But this year I have Eddie. And she is helping mend my heart. I couldn't wait to bring her to see Joe and introduce her. I know in my heart if he were here today he would have liked her a lot. He would have been proud of me for being such an amazing cop. I would tell him I learned from the best. Joe was my hero in so many ways. Danny couldn't even compare and yet sometimes Danny had his moments where he reminded me of Joe. Erin sometimes did things Joe did and when she does it makes me cry because I know Joe would have laughed at her for copying him. Joe was this incredible, amazing, and wonderful person all wrapped into a package.

When we took that road trip Joe wanted me to have some fun before I graduated law school and had to start working. We were going to drive around for the week I had off from school. Just him and me visiting different cities and sampling the food and site seeing. It had been his idea to do a road trip but my idea to go to multiple places. We took turns driving and everything. We saw the Grand Canyon, the Seattle space needle, and even the Washington monument to name a few things. I couldn't remember ever having so much fun in my entire life. Joe, he just smiled and laughed the whole trip. You could tell he had been having it rough at work and needed this vacation really bad. We took lots of pictures together when we saw the Grand Canyon. Joe said he always wanted to remember what it looked like in case he never got a chance to see it again. I thought it was strange at the time that he worded it like that but thought nothing of it. I just had fun snapping photos of him in goofy poses by the canyon.

When we got to the top of the Seattle space needle everything below us looked like ants. We laughed so hard. Everyone stared at us but we didn't care because we were having fun together. Joe went up close to the window and looked down again. He motioned for me to get close but I had been scared of the height at the time. Joe just took my hand and held it tightly while we looked together. I remembered feeling like a frightened child but he made it all better. We grabbed lunch at a small restaurant inside the space needle. It was a great lunch. I will never forget that chicken. I don't know how they prepared it so well but it was unforgettable. They also made a mean mac and cheese gratin and Joe couldn't put down his fork. We also shared a huge piece of this chocolate layer cake with butter cream icing. It was one of the best lunches he ever had. He secretly wanted to take Eddie there sometime and show her what Joe and he saw together. He also wanted to take her to the Grand Canyon is she had never been before.

When we finally made it to the Washington monument we were dead tired. The trip had worn us out. We wondered if we had saved the best for last because it was the capital of the states. It was so cool there and we had a lot of fun site seeing. We even saw the Abe Lincoln statue too. Joe was rather impressed with it and the size of the statue. I really liked the monument. I liked that it was so tall for a pillar and that it was so significant and important. Joe and I even found time between sampling the food to go walk around this fancy botanical garden. Now that I think about it, I bet Eddie would love it there. There were so many flowers, trees, and shrubs inside the gardens. It had so many plants Joe and I had never even seen or heard of before. It was breathtaking. We snapped a lot of photos of cool looking plants and their names. Joe even took photos of me in this greenhouse with some tropical plants and cactuses. That was fun and the cactuses were super cool. We ate at this one restaurant that had Japanese food. We had gone for the all you can eat sushi and other items. Joe was never one for sushi but I encouraged him to be adventurous. He had started out with vegetarian sushi and cooked fish and by the end of the dinner he was eating raw fish and raw sushi. It was funny to watch him try his first piece of raw fish. I remember it was white tuna and he made a little face but I told him to try a second piece and he loved it after that. We had to order loads more fish pieces. It was so much fun and after dinner we even had red bean ice cream.

When we drove back to New York we were both bummed and sad. We didn't want the trip to end but Joe had to be back at work and Danny had to drive me back up to school. When we arrived back at home we had a family dinner with everyone and it was the happiest dinner I can ever remember since mom died. We even got to show everyone some of our photos and tell them stories about our trip. I was sleeping the night at home then the next day Danny was driving me back to my dorm. I had taken the day off so I could settle back into my dorm after my vacation. Joe was going to sleep in my room that night. We had a last sleepover to really end our vacation together on a good note. I remember he hogged all the blankets but I didn't care because I was having fun.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined Joe dying. And especially not before my graduation from law school just a few months after our trip. I was heartbroken at my graduation. I fake smiled for all the photos because I didn't want to upset anyone. The truth is we were all gutted and raw. Someone took my favorite brother and best friend away from me. I remembered waking up angry and sad and so broken. And I had nightmares for weeks after finding out. I kept remembering our road trip and I just couldn't function because my mind kept trying to slip into this la-la land where everything was okay and Joe was still alive. I was so depressed after graduation that I had to take the summer off and they had me talk to a therapist and everything. I was even on anti-depressants for a while too. I made it through though because I have such a wonderful supportive family. Erin was there for me the most. When I had the nightmares she would come running into my room and hold me tight, rub my back and stay with me until I could fall asleep again. Sometimes Danny would wake up too and fetch me a glass of water then go back to bed. I guess it was his way of showing he cared and was there. He wasn't as emotional as Erin was but I was okay with that and I understood.

Getting back to now though I am currently with Eddie. We are walking up to Joe's grave hand in hand. Eddie squeezed my hand tightly to reassure me. It was something she did when she knew I was having a hard time. I just looked over at her and tried my best to smile and keep it together. When we finally arrived at Joe's grave I stopped and crouched down and put one hand on the head stone. Eddie stood back a bit to give me space. I appreciated that a lot. "Hey Joe how are you?" Jamie said. "I bet you are really happy in heaven with mom and grandma" "And I know you are doing well." Jamie said. "I am really sad today Joe. Today is the anniversary of our only road trip. But I bet you already know that. It hurts so much that you can't be here with me anymore. I miss you so much and in many ways I still need you big brother." Jamie said. "I brought someone with me this time. She is really amazing and she is so kind. I don't know where I would be without her. She is my other half in so many ways." Jamie said looking over at Eddie. He motioned for Eddie to come closer and Eddie walked over and crouched by Jamie. Jamie took Eddie's hand in his and smiled through his tears. "Joe this is Eddie Janko. She is my girlfriend and she is the best thing that ever happened to me after you passed away." Jamie said. Eddie smiled then said "Hello Joe. It is very nice to meet you. Even though I have never seen you or talked to you I feel like I know you very well. Jamie always talks about you and shares stories about you." Eddie said. "You seem like a pretty amazing person. And from what I hear a damn good cop too. It would have been an honor to serve with you." Eddie finished. Jamie let a few more tears slip as he was so touched by what Eddie had said.

Jamie and Eddie stood up and prepared to leave the cemetery. As they were leaving Eddie said "Jamie, Joe loves you so much. And while I don't know much, I do know he is proud of you and he is watching over you from heaven." Jamie smiled through teary eyes. "You are right Eddie. And you know something, he would have really liked you Eddie. Joe really liked cops like you who are so caring, big hearted and who love helping others." Jamie replied. "I only wish he was still here so he could meet you." Jamie finished with a heavy sigh. "Oh Jamie... Hey it's okay. I know that from where he is watching he is smiling because you are happy. You have found someone who completes you in more ways than one. And I am certain that makes Joe very happy." Eddie said. "Thanks Eddie." Jamie replied. They left the cemetery hand in hand much like how they had come in. Only this time, this year Jamie felt much better. He knew Eddie would always be there for him and help him through anything.

The end

A/N: I am so glad this idea came to me. If you made it to the end and were able to read this story then kudos to you. See you soon.


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